I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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