So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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