We're like a lot better than the average bears
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
