We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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