Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im calling her cock vulture from now on
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Randomize
