He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
