i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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