so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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