I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
