I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
