We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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