my sisters under your porch take her home
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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