Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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