I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
