its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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