just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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