Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
