One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
