It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
