I seem to have left my pride at pride
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
