I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
