i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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