is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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