there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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