I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
