so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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