I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
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His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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