she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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