You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize