He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
