Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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