Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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