I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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