OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
