Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
