used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
