Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
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i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize