Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
