Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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