she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
