Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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