Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
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I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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