The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
