i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
