ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
