You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
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Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
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I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize