If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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