The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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