You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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