i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my being single is dangerous.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
