are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
