dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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