oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
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after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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