Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
