I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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