Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
